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19 July 2003

3...2...1....

I give up, fuck all of you.

It was fun, MTV broke my spirit. What can I say.

I dont feel good either, my stomach is killing me.
Oh yeah, I am 3 seconds away from giving up.
I'm still here, I'm just engrossed in the Tom Green show, sad huh?

Rooney is a stupid fuckin' emo band. I hope their tour bus crashes.

18 July 2003

Glenn Humplik is quite cuddly.
You guys can't see me, but I am hitting my head on the table.
Glenn Humplik is fuckin' wresting with Andy Dick, how homoerotic is THAT?
Fuckin' Andy Dick's songs are scary.


Please, someone kill me.
Goddamn you MTV, I never thought you would kill me so fast.
I am very sure MTV has broken my spirit. Very sure. I am laying in a trance it seems like. I really want to go drive somewhere, but I don't know where to. MTV is pissing me off, Tom Green is a fuckin' tool and so is everyone else. Fuck.
I'm really bored.

OOH! Marilyn Manson, he is a cool guy.

Its just a talk show, I mean, its not that funny. Tom should be native whilst humping dead mooses.
Fuck you Dios, its new to me!

I finally got me some fuckin' Fritos. Just in time for Marilyn Manson and Andy Dick to be on the Tom Green Show!
As if Jackass wasn't bad enough, I get to see the NEW Tom Green show. which is kinda funny. Still have yet to see a music video since like 7.
Extreme scootering has to be one of the dunniest bits on Jackass.
I found something worse than watching MTV for 24 hours. TNN for 24 hours.
This MTV thing is seriuslly getting old, I am thinking of just quiting, but nooo. I must keep on watching grown men piss themselves on Jackass. What the fuck has the world come to?

Fart jokes never, ever lose their entertainment value. Oh, who am I kidding? Yes they do.
How can you listen to Mya's new CD online before it hits stores? I mean, wouldn't that be illegal? its on www.mtv.com, the leak.

Jackass is on WHOOT!

Hi, my name is Johnny Knoxville, I sold my soul to Viacom.
Can they say "douche-bag" on TV? Because on Billy Madison they censored douce-bag. But on MTV, they said douche-bag like 7 times.
I noticed, that I have been watching MTV for like 8 hours, and seen like 15 videos. Isn't that sad? Its mostly been shitty animation.
The Arby's Oven Mitt is pure evil.

I DONT HAVE EARSSSSSSSSS!
This damn show reminds me of Undeclared, the quickly cancelled Fox show. Except, its animated. I can remember when MTV played GOOD animations. Like The Maxx, The Head and well, thats it.
I can feel the blisters forming. This show 3-South is really stupid. It seems to be about college life. But at moment, it doesn't seem to be about anything.

Oh boy, another Mandy Moore movie, about love. What else am I to expect from anyone.

I HATE YOU ALLLLL!
Oh shit, its another shitty cartoon about college life. It sucks. Great.
3-South, another cartoon, I have never heard it or seen it. But it looks halfway interesting.
Wow, that episode made no fuckin' sense. Much like everything on MTV.
Just because a cartoon uses big words, doesn't make it a smart or funny cartoon.
At Hooter's you are always the Man of the Hour if you have an MTV camera crew making a show called "Made". And of course, Mountain Dew and Sony are sponsoring SpiderMan. That goes back to that Sony Ericson phone I saw.
That T-Mobile commerical where this Adam Shapiro guy is callin' all these people begging to sleep on their couch. I can honestly see myself doing that in like 3 years. Sad huh?

On the other hand, I want some Fritos, please can I have some?


There isn't much to flame in this SpiderMan show, its so shallow, all you can say is "This show sucksssssssssss" over and over.
Oh look, a villian stole an MTV Movie Award from some actress. Even on a shitty cartoon on MTV, MTV forces itself on you.
Well, only one more episode of Spider Man to go!@#$%^ I hate this show very much.
Everyone carries around Sony Ericson phones in SpiderMan, fuck, i think that product placement in cartoons is wrong.
The villian must change every time there is a new episode. In this shitty episode, it's Peter's dumbass professor. Wouldn't it be funny if SpiderMan got raped?
Arg its so boring, its like I yearn for old school MTV, like Buzzkill, anyone remember that show? Its like a prank show.
The Animation of this Spider-Man is teh stupid. Its like waking life, except its supposed to be animated. The story sucks too. Icky icky icky.
The Jamie Kennedy Experiment is much more funnier than Punk'd

MTV.com brings you MYA!!!!!11

w00t!
Oscar De La Hoya? What the fuck? This show gets stupider and stupider. Man, MTV is getting so stupid.
Arg, PlanetKC is being stupid. But MSN is fine I suppose.

Bean is playing a secret agent in Johnny English, it looks kinda funny.

Arg, that evil Spider-Man show is on next. ARGGG! I will have to pry my eyes out.
Gigli, its funny how they are pushing this film as a love story/comedy. When in reality its quite a grity crime, mafioso film. I just wanted to take this time to say that Gigli is gonna suck, that its not a romantic comedy. Just all of you be warned.
Some jerkoff with a longsleeve collared shirt with a green baseball jersey over it. Its some spot for MTV2, but he so obviously trying to 'emo'. I hate people like that. What the fuck, just be yourself, right? RIGHT?
The Crib Crashers stunt where Mandy Moore gets Punk'd is pretty funny. She fuckin' smashes this guy's trailer with a huge beam. Heh. Wow, I liked soemthing. Those pills must be kicking in.
Rob just informed me that THE Dougie Howser, Neil Patrick Harris does the voice of the animated Spider-Man. Ohhh, evil like Pol-Pot that show is. This episode of Punk'd looks just a stupid as the first one. Maybe I am just jaded by all these MTV shit I've been watching for 5 hours. Ohhhh

Did you see Requiem from a Dream? #3 was No Orgasms. Yeah, isn't that crazy?
Now Punk'd is just getting stupid, some guy is massaging some girls foot and hittign on her while her boyfriend is looking on. This hasn't been done 40 times before on 100's of differnt shows.
Who's brightass idea was it to make an animated SpiderMan show...

For MTV. We should kill them.
Gatorade dosen't need a 'historical' commerical. Now really, do we give a fuck where that nasty shit came from? I for one, don't.
The breakdown, of letting Seth Green on the joke on this one, it wasn't very good. Ashton like walks around it for 3 minutes. Its not like when he seizes all of Timberlake's house.

Also, they have some faggot tour called Scream 3 Tour where B2k and other equally shitty bands. They are coming to Kansas City this week. And lets see, I pray for an ANFO bomb.
I think that Seth Green gambling stunt is kinda stupid. I mean, what Ashton gets caught illegal gambling and tries to pin it on Seth, its hardly believeable. Seth doesn't look too worried when he is doing it. I mean, I think it might be staged.
If I ever see that Sprite Remix commerical where Biz Markee or whatever, is like REMIX BRR REMIX and that huge Sumo wrestler is like dacing and its all urban and shit. I mean, fuckin' what, you gotta be 'urban' to sell soda pop?

Well, Sprite has always been urban with their Obey Your Thirst campagine.

Ashton Kutcher is fuckin' Demi More. Thats kinda, icky.
Ashton Kutcher has fuckin' done this prank 4 times, I mean, how fuckin' cool can you be? Repeating the same stunt OVER AND OVER until people get sick?!?!

Also, Kevin Richardson is a tool. As is most people on the Real World, Road Rules and any other show.
Well, its almost time to switch over from inspirational Nelson Mandella propaganda, over to Punk'd, the Ashton Kuther WE FUCKED YOUR MOM! show. I don't totally hate this show, but it provides me some laughter in my otherwise empty life.


www.staying-alive.org <- Mandella site.
So I'm looking at the MTV Online Sceduele and I find something scary:

5:30 am: NOC Test

I really hope I dont have to listen to the color bar dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot for 30 minutes.

Well, its not that much diferent than Christina, Justin Timberlake or most of the shit they play.
I can't tell if I am enlighented by this Mandella special or not, its the choppy editing and Nelson's pidgin English speakin' ass. I feel sick.
Rob is always thinking ahead:

Rob T Firefly: Can I have your Oki if you die?

My OKI-900 is teh r0x!

Also, they are talking about suicide bombs again. I rethought my position and: Suicide bombs are alright. Its pussy farts that are bad.
Like, I'm thinking, if I do give up, it will most likely be at like 4am to like 6am, because like, thats when everything is dead to me.


Also, they played this Powermac G5, the most badass computer commercial twice in row. I love gaffes!

G5's are quite badass, I want one to have my babies.

Freaky Friday, also, looks like a cute movie, if by cute I mean vomit inducing.
There is only a few things I'm looking foreward to, at 9pm Punk'd is on for 1 hour, I only mildly dispise that show. At 11:30 Jackass is on. Which I really do like that show (hey I'm still a guy!) and The Tom Green Show is on at Midnight and again at 1:30 AM. So it wont be hell ALL NIGHT!
I just realised something, I'm wasting my life.

Also, suicide bombings are really not cool.

MTV's shoddy editing is horrible. Look at the editing on this Mandella special, its really annoying.
Those folks at B3ta are so cool. WOO B3ta!

In other news, Nelson Mandella can't speak english good. HAHAAHAH!
Goddamn people bitchin' about their horrible countries. This one is now Myanmar, who gives a FUCK about Myanmar? I have to worry about MTV for next 20 hours. Its like, this Mandella thing is so hypocritical.
That Livewire commerical where they guys bump into the glass, yeah, the only people who are stupid are the people who drink that shit. I can't say enough times how much that stuff sucks, that and Sprite Refix. Ew.
MTV will agree with whatever their sponsers throw at them, I always wondered what it feels like to have no soul and a black heart.
Its like, why doesn't Nelson Mandella have AIDS yet? I mean, everyone else in that godforsaken continent has it, why is he so damn special?
This commentary track on this special is annoying, I wonder who is doing it. Oh yeah, its Beyonce. Damn her.
Apartheid, that was pretty sad. But, its still pretty much true. White people run the most important African countries still.

Meeting Mandella: A Staying Alive Special.

Mandella is a great guy, why does MTV have to bastardize him? MTV has to have a special where some kids from Uganda, Isreal, Burma (Myanmar) and Plaestine. I mean, this is a good idea. But. There is always a but, MTV gets too damn preachy. Like preachy and then BEACH HOUSE! Practise safe sex to SPRING BREAK NUDE SHOTS! To don't sexually discriminate to Oh, a P. Diddy video.

Bastards.
Christina Aguliara with Lil Kim - Cant Hold Us Down is #1. Christiana is a major bitch, and now she has a black wig on. My main wish at moment is for Lil Kim to just start eating Christina's face! Likee BALLLLLLLLHRDGGGG BITCH!
P. Diddy throws a party for a shitty movie, Bad Boys 2, but no, not for the movie, for the SOUNDTRACK! Yes, I said it right, the soundtrack. And they are serving popcorn lobster.

Oh the other hand, I just had some soup. Chicken noodle.
Damn it, they played that P.I.M.P. video again, with alll muh nizzzzzzzzzles.

Carson Daly is a total tool
Its that goddamn Beyonce and Jay-Z video. Down with Love or whatever. I hate this shit. Same videos all the damn time. I'll never be able to see The White Stripes. Oh, and now, the 'media' is saying Ashanti and Beyonce have a rivialry, I'm sorry, the only media saying that is MTV themselves.
I really hope sometime this night, that I get to see the *NEW* White Stripes video for Hardest Button to Button.

Lil Bow Bow is a Lil Bastard. He is like 12, and he got raped, and he goes talkin' all that shit. He is talking about how he is pure pimpboots, and he has like 10 very expenisve rides. Like, if he didn't have a song, and got raped he wouldn't have any of that shit. I fuckin' hate his ass, he isn't even that good. He bitches about not being able to go out without getting mobbed and how he hates that shit. Well, Mr. Wow, that is the price of fame, I'm sorry, if you don't like it, I have gun you can play with, asshole.
I'd like to use this post to say that Mountain Dew Livewire tastes like an orange shit on some sugar and then some club soda was mixed in.
Fabolous's new song So Into You, well, there aren't enough profanities in the English language for me to describe that piece of gutter trash.
OH boy, here comes Sway with more tidbits of crap for us to hear. Bastard with the funny headgear.

Feminem is so cool, he entertained 90,000 people in Detriot last weekend. Eminem is SO DAMN COOL! HE IS SO COOL!
I can't wait until he runs the way of Vanilla Ice.
Kelly Clarkson should have her uterus ripped out to save humanity.
Who the fuck are the Great American Rejects, another bullshit poppunk band. Its CRAP

AFDSKJ:LDGJSL*((((((((((((ARG(((((((((((((((
JimboReefer: You sure know how to be original!
Mister Murd0c: I never said I was
Mister Murd0c: I even gave the orginal guy credit

Yeah, http://blueyonder.co.uk/semiotics.html

Oh yeah. Still, TRL is driving me insane!

ALL AMERICAN REJECTS ARE SO AWESOME WOO WOO WOWOWOWOWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
They should change TRL to RSM - Really Shitty Music. Or Read Shitty Mothers or something.
Dude, everyone knows that America doesn't want to see Dream, why doesn't TRL just come out and admit that they choose what videos get played. Fucking assholes this this is real

Oh boy, TRL is recycleing the footage from Direct Effect's at the Bad Boy's 2 soundtrack premiere. How cool.
YAYAYAAY! TRL! w00t w00t!

Too bad Carson rarely hosts this show anymoer.
Damn my father, he is making me watch MTV in Picture-in-Picture. This sucks. How come he gets to watch the FUCKING NEWS! What a jew bastard. Not 3 hours into my marathon and I have to be interrupted in my sound, but not viewing.

Who's got game is still stupid so are the people on it.

I should keep talking about this Who's Got Game show, so here goes:

it sucks
Here is some harsh truth from Patriarch Rob T. Firefly:

Mister Murd0c: and then i get to see TRL!@#$$#%
Rob T Firefly: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! I'd like to request J. Lo because WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

But yeah, on the MTV.com secduele it says at 7 that a Nelson Mandella special is on. Oh look, the littl' MTV is tryin' 2 b edjukashul!!! Aw, its so cute, yes it is, yes it is. AWwwwwwwwwww.

I would like to say this: MuchMusic would never play such crappy shows.
Now this Who's Got Game show, its more about who the basketball players are gettin' their fuck on with, more then about the basketball. Much like the NBA!
http://www.mtv.com/community/profiles/profile.jhtml?username=RobTFirefly

Click read my forum posts, Thanks for the post Rob, u r teh pwnxz0r!

Luckily Who's Got Game is over and lets see whats up next shall we?

OH FUCK! Its another episode of Who's got Game, I CAN"T TAKE THIS CRAP! AWRGHGH!@#$%#%


All this competition reminds of the 8 year olds playing on What Would You Do, GUTS, Wild and Crazy Kids and Legends of teh Hidden Temple. I dont konw why I am recalling all these old Nickelodeon shows. But yeah, this is like, worthless crap that MTV throws at their viewers. I mean, MTV2 doesn't even play videos 24/7 anymore. Soon were gonna need MTV3 to play videos all the time. IDIOTS!
These people get all freakin' into a damn game! Its like they forget their human and go after the all american dollar with ravage! They push, scream and whathaveyou. Its funny.
What is the deal with streetball, this is a bunch of shit, they take 4 steps on every layup and there like no rules. The whole point of a game is to have rules. So much bad werds, its crazy. This has nothing to do with Music, television. This is just to appese the african-american audience!
Oh boy, another hip-hop drama like soap opera shit about basketball. Called "Who's Got Game?!" What the hell, give dickheads from the ghetto a chance to win 100 large? I mean, really, I could do more with 100 grand then these assholes, who would end up just blowing it in like 3 months. I mean, I would probably end up giving half of it to chairty cuz I'm like that.

Basketball bores me, so yeah, i can only hope for a heart attack of one of these people.
Beyonce's and Jay Z's video Crazy about love. I hate this video. Its like, someone ran it through photoshopt and put a shitload of lens flare in it! Its craziness!

Also, Beyonce is one of those people I hope dies poor and lonly and addicted to crack. She can sing awesomely, yet she reduces herself to this rap shit.
"Go see, Bad Boys 2 its crazy. Bad Boys 1 was crazy, but Bad Boys 2 was CRAZY!"

Sway, what the fuck, he is an idiot.

Fabolous is suing the city of New York for false arrest. For $5 Million dollars. Bastard, as if he needs money, right? Bastard.

Also, whats with throwing money at the camera? Thats so stupid. Rappers soooo stupiddddddddd. Stupiddddddddd.

Sway, I guess, is kinda cool, I just wish he would take off that silly headgear. Loser.
Why is that all the MTV VJ's have such stupid names? La La, Carson, Kyelaia, Kennedy (She was cool though!) and uh, Jesse.

Why don't they have a normal name like Murd0- uh, nevermind.

This is Ashanti's Rock Wit U (Ohh Baby!). Again with the spelling and grammar. What the hell is with these people? This is again, more R&B than rap. Luckily this is #2 video, meaning #1 is right around the corner and the show is over. w00t!
My dad honestly didn't know that I was doing this. Isn't taht funny?
Mister Murd0c: This isn't nearly as fun as I thought it would be
Mister Murd0c: Its more sad than fun
Rob T Firefly: It's a trial, like the labors of Hercules.
Rob T Firefly: You may come out of this transformed.
Rob T Firefly: You could have demigodly powers by tomorrow.
Mister Murd0c: you mean like, changing from a robot, into a car, and then back into a robot crushing the people in the car?
Rob T Firefly: Heh heh! Yep.

Rob you rule.

What is the deal with 'holla'ing' I mean, this guy said they hollaed at me, she hollaed at me, I hollaed at dem niggas. I mean, really, do we need all this holla?
Is it me, or is it that black people can't do interviews? Like this Shane West or whatever, sorry if I botched the name. He is like looking down on the floor and like looking really happy to be there. Is it a prerequisite to be an asshole when the camera comes on and your a rap star or producer? It takes a lot of fuckin' sense to be a rap producer, right? It can't be THAT hard? I could do it, if I didn't rip my eardrums out from all the (c)Rap I had to listen to.

Ginuwine's In Those Jeans is on now. Well, I am kinda happy as this seems like an R&B song as opposed to the rap shit I have been subjected to for the past half hour.
How can someone who said "Fuck Tha Police" make a song for a soundtrack about two cops? (Bad Boys 2). But oh yeah, they are down fur teh c4sh m0n3y y0 y0 y0 y0. I hope thats the insanity talking.
I just saw a commerical for Doggy Fizzle Televizzle. And it had the opening for Jackass, it said Blackass. It was like, I'll show you a stunt. And Snoop Dogg goes up to these cops drinking coffee and smacks it out of their hands. "YOU CHICKENSHIT REDNECK MOTHERFUCKERS!" They pull out their clubs and everyone starts running.

Nelly - Shake Your Tailfeather. At least this has a beat of somesort. And a cute title. But it seems that P. Piddy Daddy Puff is an extra in every video these days. Why can't a terrorist attack take him out?

I've come to the conclusion, that yes, infact, video girls are grown in a lab. Yes.
I wonder if they grow these video girls in a lab somewhere?

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